Crack Brownies

Background:  About three years ago, Hubs and I were invited to a Crawfish Boil (Or was it a Super Bowl Party?  I don’t remember.  We are clearly party animals.  I can’t keep track of them all.  LOL.  NOT!  Actually, I'm worried I have short-term memory loss.).  My sweet Southern Mother taught me, at an early age, that it isn’t polite to show up at someone’s home without some kind of “sussie” (aka:  pressie – aka:  present).  Be it a candle, some wine, or something fun like cocktail napkins (the woman is OBSESSED with cocktail napkins).  For this particular soiree (whether it was for crawfish eatin’ or football watchin’), I decided it might be nice to bring a dessert along for everyone to share.  And I knew the woman who could hook me up with the perfect recipe:  Miss Paula “Butterlicious” Deen.  I began searching Food Network’s website the morning of the gathering.  I wanted something simple, but oh-so-sweet AND memorable.  BAM.  I knew the minute I laid my eyes on these pretty little brownies they would become my go-to dessert for family functions, 4th of July extravaganzas, even EASTER.  Yes.  Easter.  And since Easter is this weekend, I wanted to share my (totally inspired by Paula’s) recipe with you lovely readers.  I’ve taken a few liberties and added my own TLC (Get it? I crack myself up.).

Editor’s note:  Despite the name of the brownies, no actual crack is used in the recipe.  I know.  You’re shocked.  Hopefully not bummed.  The brownies got this nickname from a fellow-party goer after she sampled my little delights.  She said, “Holy guacamole.  These are addicting.  You should call them ‘Crack Brownies.’”  From that point on, that became their moniker.  I was extremely and beyond flattered.  I’d never received such a compliment. I’m proud to say, these brownies get lots o’ requests.  Thank you, Miss Paula “Cream Cheese” Deen.  YOU ROCK.

Toffee (aka:  Crack) Brownies

image via Food Network

Cook time:  about 25 minutes

Yields:  about 24 “good-sized” brownies

Ingredients:

• 1 (17.6-ounce) package brownie mix with walnuts (I actually prefer to use Betty Crocker’s Fudge Brownies – no walnuts.  Then I buy the nice little individual ½ cup packages of walnuts that hang on one of the shelves in the baking aisle.  I realize this is a little “nutty.”  Pardon the pun.  But it works for moi.  I think the walnuts in the mixes aren’t “chunky” enough for my purposes.  But, potato / pa -tah-toe.)
• Vegetable oil cooking spray
• 3 (6-ounce) candy bars with almonds and toffee chips (MUST purchase the Symphony brand.  Oh dear gracious.  Ah-mazing.)
• ½ cup Heath Toffee Bits (This is my personal addition.  These are also located in the baking aisle right next to the chocolate chips.)

Directions:

Prepare the brownie mix according to the package directions.  If your heart so desires – mix in the nuts and Heath Bits.

Line a 13 by 9-inch cake pan with aluminum foil and spray with vegetable oil cooking spray.  Spoon in half of the brownie batter then smooth with a spatula or the back of a spoon.  Place the candy bars side by side on top of the batter.  Cover with the remaining batter.

Bake according to package directions.  Let cool completely—then lift from the pan using the edges of the foil.  This makes it super easy to cut the brownies into squares.

Voila!  These are pure decadence.  You won’t be disappointed.  Bon appétit!

As an aside:  Hubby and I just returned from a wonderful beach vacay / brother-in-law’s wedding in Playa Mujeres, Mexico.  At the airport on Sunday, Hubs thought he had to have something sweet while we waited for our plane to arrive.  We decided to browse one of the little “shops.”  He was immediately drawn to the most ginormous Symphony Bar (with the toffee and almonds) I have ever seen.  It was a sight to behold and practically the size of Tejas.  It was 95 pesos. Converted to American dollars, that’s about $8.05.  In my humble opinion, that’s a helluva lot of moo-lah for a candy bar.  But, being that I’m such a Sweet Sugar Mama, I kindly purchased the delectable chocolate gold for him.  The entire bar had 950 calories.  Ba-na-nas.  I asked him if he was going to eat all of it by his little lonesome.  He smiled real big and said, “YEP.”  Unfortunately, he never got the chance.  He made it halfway through the bar when he had to use the bano (I can’t figure out how to get that little tilde-thingy to show up when I type the “n,” but you can picture it, okay?).  He set the bar (wrapped up nice and secure) in his seat, only to return and discover one of the cleaning ladies had come by, picked it up and thrown it away.  Oh, the unmitigated HORROR.  Someone owes me $4.03 USD.  Or 48 pesos. Rapidamente, por favor.