Words With... TLC

I’m not saying TLC and I have had “words.” Although we do. Sometimes. In a completely positive and healthy way. Of course.

I’m talking Words With Friends. And TLC is my “friend.” My only “friend.” At this time.

With my new iPhone 4s came my determination to be a part of the Apps phenomenon. Peggy, Sunny’s Sweet Hubby (Have I ever told y’all the reason I call him “Peggy?” It’s a good story. I’ll check. If I haven’t, I will—soon!), has been playing this game for a long time. I knew he LOVED it. I shouldn’t even admit this: It took Alec Baldwin’s unfortunate incident on the airplane last week to make me remember I hadn’t asked TLC when she thought I would be “ready” to start WWF.

We officially began our first “free” game Monday evening. Well, actually, because I got confused with some of her instructions/suggestions, we started two games Monday evening. Oh, my.

As of Tuesday evening, I was ahead—in both games. Then, out of nowhere, TLC came on like Gangbusters and beat me—BAM. Just like that. Before 9:30 p.m. Central Standard Time. Her bedtime. I won’t lie—I was somewhat shocked. Okay. VERY shocked. I decided to make this defeat light a fire in the deep dark Scrabble recesses of my brain/belly/bothbrainandbelly.

This evening we were playing our second set of two games when she put this word on one of the grids:

galop

? ? ?

When I saw it, I KNEW IT WAS WRONG. Immediately. Instinctively. ABSOLUTELY. Still, I ran for my Oxford American Dictionary. That stupid free Words With Friends App had given her 22 points FOR A MISSPELLED WORD.

You would not even BELIEVE the other points she has made—for words, if you could call them “words”—that are very/beyond questionable. Yet, when I try to use some of her techniques, I get this:

“Sorry, that is not a word.”

That may not be the message exactly. I see “Sorry” and I immediately go cRaZy. I must stop reading the obnoxious little message so I can galop to my front door and throw my precious 4s down our hill.

At this moment, as TLC sleeps, I’m looking at our second set of games. She has 135 points on one—I have 74. She has 130 points on the second game—I have 127.

And she’s sooo SMUG. She had the nerve, after I pointed out to her that, despite what these WWF Peeps said, “galop” was NOT a word, to offer this advice to me:

“You need to use more DW and TW. Lots o’ points that way.”

ELC: I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

TLC: DW=Double Word Points; TW=Triple Word Points

Cruddy-dud. I temporarily had a brain freeze. I’ve known those "terms" for about 49 years. And, hey, TLC, FYourI, I DO look for all DW and TW opportunities. Because I want to win. Fair and square.

I don’t think I like this phone version of Scrabble. But I can’t, for the life of me, figure out that Angry Birds game yet.

Let me ask y’all this:

If I pay for a Words With Friends App, will it SPELL better?